Backache

*not us in the picture, just liked the leaning into the cot. He looks a lot more comfortable than I usually feel.


Most of this was written on my phone, in the dark, in mid November. I’ve since added to it and thought more about it. Still true now, I was leaning into his cot again last night.


I’m standing in the dark, one slipper on, one off, leaning into my son’s cot, rubbing his back and dreaming about someone else rubbing mine. It hurts. I’ve been standing here for I don’t know how long. Long enough to decide to take out my phone and type one handed. But the thing is, I will continue to do this any time he needs it, backache be damned, because that’s just what you do isn’t it?

My biggest problem currently is how to lean in comfortably. I’m quite short so sitting on the chair I have next to his cot for feeding and cuddles isn’t an option because then the the cot just digs into my armpit and my fingertips just about reach his back. Assuming he’s on the edge of the cot closest to me. If he’s against the wall its a non starter.

I don’t want to sound like a broken record and talk about his sleeping habits again but I’m gonna. He is getting so much better. His daytime naps are a dream – 99% of the time anyway – but at night is when the issues begin. We do exactly the same thing at night as we do during the day but it just doesn’t seem to work for him as well. But, once he is asleep he stays that way, pretty solidly, for most of the night. He will wake once, maybe twice and usually not for long. But how he falls asleep has changed. If he is awake going into the cot someone (me!) has to sit with him, rub his back, generally just be there and be a comfort to him. We have managed on a few occasions to leave the room while he’s awake and he will fall asleep himself. But, more often than not, if we leave the room he either screams bloody murder or lies there and taps the mattress or plays with his teddy or moves around the bed like a gymnast in training. None of which helps him sleep. But me being there and rubbing his back or his head, that seems to help him sleep.

All I want for him – and me – is a good nights sleep, a good rest, to be able to have a full action packed day the next day and not miss out. Not that a lack of sleep seems to bother him too much. He is still raring to go once he wakes up, whether that’s after 10 minutes or 10 hours. I on the other hand, I’d prefer the 10 hours please.

We’ve had a few days now where he has fallen asleep for his mid day nap only to wake 15 or 20 minutes later and abjectly refuse to go back to sleep. He’s had a power nap and is ready to rock and roll and destroy. We, the parental team, are not fans of these days and are looking to the day when he rejects naps altogether with fear and nervousness. What are we going to do with a child who is up from 7 til 7 with no stopping in between?

He is like a little ball of energy. It’s almost like he doesn’t need the sleep. I keep comparing him to Taz, remember him? The cartoon Tasmanian devil who would spin and cause destruction in his wake, never stopping to check or even notice the mess he left behind. That’s our kid. We use nap time to try to regain some attempt at our house looking normal and catching up on chores.

I have to be thankful for Covid for one thing, at least no one is calling to the house to visit! If they were I think it would have to come with a disclaimer – Please Note! This household contains a rambunctious toddler. Please secure any loose or delicate items upon entering, including arms and feet, that you do not wish to have torn, thrown or tasted. Also, those of a ticklish nature, do not initiate tickles. This toddler gives as good as he gets.

Published by Mommy, Mostly

Getting to grips with being a mum and trying to survive this crazy world

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